Heat induced lazy days.

The cover band that plays at the bar next to my parking garage has finally learned new songs.  Typically, I spend my Friday and Saturday nights here at work listening to played out classic rock songs waft across the water to my little booth.  I have been crossing my fingers for weeks in hopes that said musicians would branch out a bit.  And while I’m glad that I won’t have to listen to ‘Summer of ’69’ for the 9340th time, I wish that they had not chosen to move onto every mediocre dance-pop tune featured on the past 10 ‘NOW: That’s What I Call Music’ compilations.

If those bastards start playing Phil Collins next, I will steal a vehicle from the top floor of the garage and launch it off the roof, across the water, and into the bar to cease the band from assaulting my ears with the filth that is Collins’ music.

Aural woes aside…

I’ve made four friendship bracelets while at work this week.  I just learned how to make them a few days ago, which seems strange because I am 25, and why isn’t bracelet weaving a skill I acquired in my youth?  Probably because I was too busy learning to kick my little brother’s ass in Top Gun for NES.

I have not had much time to write lately.  Combine that with my deletion of all of my social networking accounts resulting in decreased internet usage and I end up a pretty lazy blogger.  Hopefully I will have more projects to report back on soon.  As of late, it’s been too damn hot to bake or craft or do anything other than lay around in my underoos, sweating and complaining.

I now present y’all with proof of my recent, somewhat meager, DIYing:

 my unicorn-colored bracelet, inspired by the many great minds over at HonestlyWTF (http://honestlywtf.com/diy/diy-friendship-bracelet/)…

…and some bag clips I made from clothes pins and alphabet stamps.

In the works are a tin can lantern, repurposed glass jars, and eventually a couple of stools up-cycled into side tables.  Also, lots more friendship bracelets.

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It begins.

Nothing particularly thrilling has occurred on this, my first official shift as booth attendant at a waterfront parking garage in Portland, Maine’s downtown district.  Various customers, overly eager and chatty, have made attempts to draw a smile or laugh from me – all successful.  I hate to disappoint would-be comedians.  Despite having to feign amusement at joking customers, this job is pretty fantastic.  It pays just about the same as (or more than) any job I’ve ever held, and comes with a refreshingly low level of responsibility.  People park, they pay me, they leave.  My relationships with customers are fleeting and uncomplicated.  The job also comes with some pretty luxurious bonuses, which I have laid out in bulleted form:

Perks of Working in a Parking Garage

  • Free Cable Television.  It may not seem like much of a workplace bonus to others, but I was elated upon arriving at work to find Jurassic Park streaming across the screen of our 19-inch, dome-front, Orion television set.  Afterwards, I listened to Dennis Farina recount terrifying mysteries of the unsolved variety (he’s no Robert Stack, but the stories and reenactments are still passable), and now I find myself enjoying some crime programs on A&E.  I haven’t had cable television since moving out of my parent’s place seven years ago, and I certainly don’t intend to miss a chance to catch-up on the mass media drivel I’ve so dearly missed.
  • Free WiFi.  It works better than the connection that I’m paying for at my apartment.  Seriously.  (How does wireless internet science manage to prevail in this giant concrete structure but can’t manage to span the three stories in my apartment building?)
  • Nary a Coworker in Sight.  No annoying work habits to put up with, boring small talk to make, or awkward social situations to deal with because I work alone!  Aside from the occasional visit from the maintenance man, touting the new LED lights he’s been installing, I am all on my own.
  • Chairs.  This job would be awful without my cushy, spinny, fake-leathery desk chair.
  • WATCHING DRUNK OLD PEOPLE MAKE OUT.  THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT THIS SECOND!  Is this a perk?  Absolutely not!  But it is occurring right this moment to the left of my booth.  I hope they don’t fall down the cement stairs on the walk to their car.  Also, I hope they fall asleep in said car before attempting to drive anywhere.  I think she tends bar near here…yeesh.  And while observations of AARP-member make-out sessions may not be highlights of this new employment venture of mine, they certainly fall under the umbrella of the next workplace perk…
  • Ideal Vantage Point for People Watching.  Sandwiched between the Casco Bay Lines Ferry Terminal and tourist-laden Commercial Street, I am afforded the best opportunities to behold every type of being lurking on Portland’s waterfront.  For company, I have dock cats and a homeless man who lives in a sleeping bag on the sidewalk outside of the garage.
I think this new job should work out just fine, assuming I can correctly mete out change in whole dollar sums and muster the courage to charge drivers hefty fines for losing their parking tickets.  I hope to monitor the goings-on here by the bay and report on my findings in this blog.  Given my experience in the port city, I have to imagine that in due time I will have a plethora of unique characters and stories to expound on.